Temporary Love

This might be a slightly pessimistic post. Bear with me.

I spent 12 years of my childhood striving for a goal.  Figure skating was what I strove for and when I lost it, it was heartbreaking. It was all that I knew so losing it was like losing a part of myself.

That loss has taught me how adaptable we are as humans. I found new goals, a new passion to pursue. Veterinary school was what I dreamt about. I imagined that once I got that everything would be perfect.

Now that I am here I am again experiencing heart break. This time it is slightly different from the injury that ended my skating career. It is a personal battle. Veterinary school and the veterinary profession is not what I hoped that it would be. Additionally the sacrifices that I feel I have made has taken more than I bargained for.

Reminiscing on the sacrifices that it took to achieve this goal, I realize that this goal may have just been a cloud and there is no silver lining. Yet I hope that it does show up. I hope that right now is my phase of loss and I once again will find passion.

I am not sure what keeps me chained to this new goal. It has caused me to hurt myself so much. I know that I could always start over, seek something different. I suppose what keeps me here is my dedication to finish. Although it saddens me often. I suppose there is a hope inside of me still that it will get better. A hope that there will be a reward for all the suffering.

Now I am not saying you seek to do the same as me. If you are genuinely miserable where ever you are there is always hope. My story of starting over is proof. But I suppose there is a balance that needs to be maintained. Never committing to goals isn't good either. They may be difficult and take a lot of sacrifice but may be worth it in the end. Each situation is unique and it is up to each individual to decide for themselves the breaking point. Either way you decide there is always hope.


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