Think

Do you know who you are?
Do you know what has happened to you?
Do you want to live this way?

"All it takes is one person, one patient, one moment to change your life forever.

It can change your perspective, color of your thinking.
One moment that forces you to rethink everything you know."

As the end of this month approaches, I am forced to re-evaluate my perspective. It was a month of harrowing surgeries that made me think differently about medicine and patient care. Everything from a huge thymoma on a sweet tail-wagging Labrador (pre- and post- op) to a hemangiosarcoma that had no saving.

It was both beautiful and weary. Now I am off to a "safer" side of medicine, one where there are fewer feelings involved and one where I can comfortably run off to recuperate in.

This month also beat me up in other ways. I am still waiting for a response to the residency but I am not quite so sure anymore. I honestly thought I was the best fit for the position and the strongest candidate. Rejection sucks and I am not used to it. I really hope two months of cardiothoracic surgery will take my mind off of it and allow me to find my place again.

I feel lost and out of control right now. Definitely not in the happiest place but as usual I know all things come and they go. I am thankful I have my health, family (close as they may be), and that my dog is healthy!