Showing posts from September, 2016

A Prayer Into the Unknown...

May I go where I am needed. Where ever fate desires me best. May I not resist that path and enjoy the views along the way. And if I need to resist I hope that it is for a just cause. May I learn to quiet the chattering mind that yearns for so much yet gets lost along the way when it runs ahead. May I be accepting of the dark, the light and the in-between. Not only in others but in myself. May I give myself more space so that I am able to act and not react. And if I am reactive, forgive myself and try again. May I see emotions for what they are, circumstances manifesting themselves in me. May I not take things personally. However may I understand the emotions of others and be empathetic.
May I be kind to each life I meet. May I treat each life like I would want to be treated. May I be strong enough to remember good values in tough times. With each passing year may I grow wiser and realize what it truly important.

Lessons from LAM

I am finishing up this "block" of classes which ends with LAM. LAM stands for laboratory animal medicine and involves the treatment of research animals.

In lab animal the framework for humane animal research can be summarized in the three R's.

Simply put...
Refine the unnecessary pain and distress that animals may be experiencing.
Reduce the number of animals that can be used for a study.
Replace animals where it is unnecessary.

I enjoy the simplicity of these concepts despite knowing that lab animal can often be plagued with agendas and politics. Multimillion dollar grants and gigantic corporations may try to run experiments but ultimately those three R's will trump everything.

Its nice to have this simplicity to reflect on prior to the approach of exams when everything seems so muddled. Or when emotions become too much and an overwhelming wave crashes over. Simplicity is key. Remove the details and underneath the mess are the answers.

A Letter To My Anxiety

Hello Anxiety,

I wish I wasn't saying hello to you again, but you are always around. Buzzing around in the back of my mind. Flitting from one thought to the next. You keep me from focusing on what needs to get accomplished. You keep me from being at my best. You keep me tossing and turning at the end of the day deep into the night. You make me wake up gasping for air in the darkness from a gut wrenching nightmare. In the mornings you make me ruminate on what I need to do, on what I am forgetting, constantly not letting me be in the present moment. Why won't you just let me be?

Anxiety, sometimes I think you are my friend. You are comforting at times. Like a bad habit, I will turn to you in times of need. I will wrap you around me like a blanket and let you keep me warm, even though I know you are no good for me. You are a blanket of fire that will leave burns all over my body.

Anxiety, you tire me out. You wear on me, day in and day out. I put up a front for others that I do n…

Karma and Newtons Third Law

I am seeing the starting signs. It is four a.m. on a Thursday morning and I woke up from a very vivid dream. A variation of this night has been occurring this whole week with an assortment of other subtle "symptoms". Running around the surgery rotation, planning vacations, racing thoughts, and the inability to focus...

So what? What good is awareness if I do not do anything about it?

Upon becoming more aware of whatever it may be we can make a choice of ignoring or acting. But we need to understand that ignoring is an active choice that can lead to different results. It may have absolutely no consequences or it can lead to repercussions.

So today, think twice about your actions. It may be coincidence that the law of karma (the law of cause and effect) goes so well with Newton's Third Law of Physics (every action has an equal and opposite reaction).

In my scenario I know that lack of sleep, anxiety, and lack of focus ultimately lead to me burning out and curled up on my b…

Pathology and an Existential Crisis

Spending two weeks at my pathology rotation thinking about death was slightly depressing. Indirectly it was enlightening about the meaning of life.

My existential crisis during this rotation went from saying that nothing we do is important to saying that everything we do is important. Now let us look at an example.  The simple act of smiling at the cashier as you're getting gas in the morning may mean absolutely nothing and the cashier may just go on with their day. Or it may mean absolutely everything to that cashier and it may turn their day around.

That was my question in my crisis. How should someone act if they do not know what the result may be?

I suppose at that point it is the intention that counts. If you want to cheer up the cashier, you should smile. If you want to piss off the cashier, give him or her the finger.

I suppose existential crisis averted. For now...

No one can advise and help you, no one. There is only one way: go within. –Rainer Maria Rilke