A Letter To My Anxiety

Hello Anxiety,

I wish I wasn't saying hello to you again, but you are always around. Buzzing around in the back of my mind. Flitting from one thought to the next. You keep me from focusing on what needs to get accomplished. You keep me from being at my best. You keep me tossing and turning at the end of the day deep into the night. You make me wake up gasping for air in the darkness from a gut wrenching nightmare. In the mornings you make me ruminate on what I need to do, on what I am forgetting, constantly not letting me be in the present moment. Why won't you just let me be?

Anxiety, sometimes I think you are my friend. You are comforting at times. Like a bad habit, I will turn to you in times of need. I will wrap you around me like a blanket and let you keep me warm, even though I know you are no good for me. You are a blanket of fire that will leave burns all over my body.

Anxiety, you tire me out. You wear on me, day in and day out. I put up a front for others that I do not have you and it takes a toll. I put up a front for myself as well. If I do not, you overtake me. You consume me. I become you and lose myself. Anxiety, I am not you.

Anxiety, you make me want to cry, yell and not speak all at once. Anxiety... What have you done to me? And yet what would I be without you?

Anxiety, I just don't know.

Sincerely,

Me